• February 7, 2021
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Romance: Don’t Snoop If You Want To Keep Love Alive

Romance: Don’t Snoop If You Want To Keep Love Alive

Don’t snoop.If you’re tempted to check your partner’s inbox or phone messages, stop, talk to yourself (whatever the psychologists say, it’s good for you). Ask, “Wait a minute, am I doing this because I think my partner is up to no good?” If so, have it out with him or her  you don’t need evidence, you need a conversation. Suspicion needs healing. The internet is a great place for expressing wishful thinking but it’s important your partner is able to talk to you about those feelings.

Shut up and listen.No matter how bad things are, give your partner a chance to speak. Given silence in which to speak or rant, they’ll say more than they meant to even more than they knew they were thinking. It can be surprising and revealing and paves the way for honesty. We tend to jump in with an opinion before we’ve heard each other out. Don’t scream, keep your cool: it makes a big difference. So often, things can be resolved by learning to listen.

Forget trouble for a little while and laugh together.A good laugh is like good sex: spontaneous and uninhibited and an act that unites two beings as one. It’s worth going out of your way to have a good laugh, especially if things have been rocky. Go to a place where you used to laugh or where there’s a good chance of laughter. That moment when you exchange a look and end up laughing, often over a shared memory, is the best way to understand each other again. It can be pretty sexy in bed too  as long as you’re laughing together.

Invest in the relationship with your partner’s family.These relationships can be rocky. Keep yours smooth by remembering birthdays and anniversaries, by butting out of family disputes, and by never forcing your partner into the position of taking sides with you against their mother, father or siblings  those relationships go back a long way. Try to establish a friendship with the most sympathetic of your in-laws who can be your defender, if necessary, when you are not present. An ally in the family can also fill in aspects of the past that may help you to understand your partner.

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