Women say things like this because for them love is a low investment undertaking because men generally expect a woman’s love merely to be expressed through sex.
Seriously, are any men in relationships so that they get to have someone to “talk to”? Nope, we get into relationships for regular intimacy mainly, and usually, as long as we’re getting that (with minimum stress attached to it), we consider it a good relationship (for those who want relationships).
For men love is a high investment undertaking, because women generally expect a man’s love to be expressed through ACTIONS (and/or resources and responsibilities).
Meaning, for a man, risk assessment is paramount when determining the direction of his love life, whereas for most women it is their feelings about a man that is paramount. Women expect to stumble upon love by lucky coincidence. Men expect to work to get love.
When love is easy for you, you’ll see it everywhere around every corner so you’ll think you’ll find it whenever you want. So you will fail 100 times and still want to keep trying. It costs you nothing, after all. Wait, you say, “we get hurt too!”
What, so you slept with a guy a few times then he ran off with another girl? Sure, that might hurt, but what have you lost really? Nothing. Nothing compared to the guy who wined and dined you, bought you a new phone, took you on a trip to Mombasa, then you ran off after
When earning a woman’s love takes a lot of hard work, and yet there is no guarantee you’ll earn it, let alone preserve it once you obtain it, you’ll likely be warier of it. All it will take is a few letdowns and thereafter many men will fail to see the logic in attaching too much importance to it.
Too high risk. That might explain what some women call “commitment phobia” in men. The higher the investment, the higher the disappointment, after all. This is how men see it, and you don’t. So you call them cowards for not trying. Well, others will more accurately call them wise.
Of course, this woman in this tweet below loves being in love. Being in love is easy for women. All a man would expect from her is occasional intimacy anyway. But try being the chauffer, spender, entertainer, psychiatrist, conversationalist, storyteller, and the person whose creative and physical efforts are what determines the course and success of the relationship…. in short, men.
You will not be saying things like this.
Women are serial monogamists. They always feel there’s better out there. Men are realists. We know for us love takes hard work. We don’t think there’s “someone out there just for us” who’ll mysteriously and magically fall into our laps one lucky day. We know that if we want love, we simply need to work for it. That’s why we constantly engage in a cost-benefit analysis to see if it’s worth the effort in pursuing a person for a relationship.
Men don’t love being in love. Men love the WOMAN herself. Hence why we are the true romantics. To us, the women we love are not as interchangeable as it seems to be for women when it comes to the men they love. Haven’t you noticed that a heartbroken man will take YEARS to recover, or probably not at all, while a heartbroken woman will be madly in love with a brand new man 3 months later? That’s because she was never in love with the previous man before, and neither is she in love with the new man.
She simply loves love, and it costs her nothing as well. Hence they move on easily.
SMAU was born because men are now dating the way women are dating. We too are now opting for the low-risk, low investment, dating framework, which entails MINIMUM to ZERO spending money. No dates, no dinners, no going to movies, nothing. You wanna bang, let’s bang, kinda thing.
That’s why if she decides to move on to another guy, the guy doesn’t care. He too moves on very easily. After all, he invested very little in her too. The playing field is now even. These are the men women are complaining about daily nowadays but we are stingy.